My Blog posts

Red One was awesome. Santa gets kidnapped by mercs and his head of security (Johnson) gets a person famed for his ability to find people (Evans) to help rescue him. It is very funny and silly. Just the sort of thing to take your mind off the drudgery of life. I think I prefer Violent Night, but that is more because the violence is more realistic - with this being a kids movie, you know that no-one is going to get actually hurt even though they really should. Like when Evans' character is slapped into oblivion and comes away with barely a scratch. But you're not watching it for the violence, you're watching it for the laughs which like a lot of movies aimed at kids, it has some humour aimed for the older audience too. I'm also seriously impressed and envious of how ripped J. K. Simmons was, although maybe he's always this buff, but cos he's usually wearing a shirt we didn't notice? #MovieReview

I can't remember where I read it, but someone likened Anora to Pretty Woman. Whilst there are some basic similarities, I'm not sure I'd entirely agree though. It has the basic premise of sex worker meets a rich man and there's the plot element of him buying her for a week. But Ivan is not at all like Edward - he's an immature, spoiled brat who is only rich because his parents fund his lavish lifestyle. And also the majority of the movie concerns the fall out from them getting married and his parents trying to get it annulled. Overall, I think I enjoyed it though - it has some funny parts, some sad parts, but the story is crucially engaging. And ultimately it is not the fairy tale that Pretty Woman portrays - it is a very realistic plot of what would happen in this situation I think. #MovieReview

Venom: The Last Dance is not bad, but it doesn't feel quite right to me and I'm not entirely sure why. Sure, it felt a bit too "busy", like Spiderman 3 was. And there were lots of inexplicable things popping out of nowhere to solve whatever the current problem was - the most random example being Eddie finding himself in Vegas casino with no money and happens to spot that Mrs Chen is there too and has just won big. I guess it felt like there was lots of distinct set pieces with lots of hand waving to tie them together to give some semblance of a story, but one that didn't seem to fit in with the previous 2 movies. And whilst there was what appears to be a definite ending to the Eddie/Venom story arc, the post credit scenes seem to imply there were going to be more movies. On the plus side, it isn't as bad as Morbius. I'd certainly watch it again. #MovieReview

I ended up one week watching 3 movies intended for kids. I started off the week re-watching Hocus Pocus. I don't feel the need to write a #MovieReview of a film that is over 20 years old. If you don't know anything about it now, you're probably not the kind of person who'd care anyway.

And then I saw The Wild Robot. It is about a robot who boots up on an unhabited (by humans) island. In an effort to find a user and a task to do, it terrorises the local wildlife and accidentally wipes out a family of geese except for 1 egg. So it takes it upon itself to raise it. It's a very heartwarming and endearing tale about growth and acceptance. And funny in places too. I also liked the visual style.

Finally, was Transformers One - the new Transformers animated movie which was also good I guess. I'm not sure who needed an Optimus Prime/Megatron origin story, but this is exactly what this is. Both start off as lowly miners who couldn't transform and until they go off on an adventure which changes them into the hero and villain we know today. Not sure there is more than meets the eye to this otherwise. Maybe if you're more aware of the Lore, this movie means something. For the kids, it's just a fun couple of hours with robots fighting and stuff.

So first off; Megalopolis. I have no idea what I watched. It was kind of pretty, but didn't make any sense. It reminded me of the sort of film you got in the Golden era of Hollywood, mixed with some Shakespeare and set in some kind of futuristic Roman version of New York.

The Outrun, however, I enjoyed. It's about a woman trying to overcome an addiction to alcohol. There are lots of cute animals and picturesque shots of the Orkneys. There isn't too much to say about it really as the concept and plot is not at all complicated. Which is in stark contrast to Megalopolis which is trying to be this clever, complicated film and has just ended up a mess. #MovieReview

I don't like horror movies, but I decided (foolishly?) that maybe The Substance wouldn't be so bad? It wasn't at all scary, but there was lots of medical stuff - injections mostly - and lots and lots of gore. It is about the misogyny and ageism of the movie/tv industry and how once a woman reaches a certain age, she's tossed onto the scrap heap and replaced with a younger replacement. Such is the case with the protagonist of this movie - she hits 50 and the head of the network wants her replaced with a 20something. She discovers "The Substance", a wonder drug that can unlock a younger better version of herself. And it doesn't quite work out how she plans.

The transformation into her new version was not at all what I expected based on what you see in the trailer. Very gory. Very traumatic. The prosthetics effects are amazing, or at least I'm guessing they're not CGI. Moore looks amazing, which just hammers home the daftness of the disgusting character that Quaid plays. Not a movie I'd probably watch again, but I think it was good - just not my sort of thing. #MovieReview

I went and saw Lee in the cinema and thought it was very good. It's about a celebrated WW2 photographer who despite the sexism of the time, managed to make quite the career for herself. And she took lots of photos that opened the eyes of the folk back home to the horror of that war. I've little interest in WW2, so wasn't aware of her, but now I am I guess. They did an amazing job of recreating the scenes she'd have taken photos of which made for a bit of a grim watch in places, but not entirely unexpected. What was unexpected, was...well it'd be a spoiler to say, but I did find that it was what made me really like the movie. #MovieReview

I saw The Crow remake a few weeks ago and it is truly as bad as you've heard. The original isn't a masterpiece, but what it did do right was be a good solid movie - being simple where it needed to be and expansive of the complicated parts. The remake is however does the opposite and is a bloated mess. It wastes at least 40 minutes trying to convince us that Shelly and Eric are in love...and misses the mark entirely. The goons that murder them are forgettable, their deaths equally so.Gone is the symmetry that had (for example) Tin Tin dying from being stabbed by his own knives. They add on a whole bunch of scenes where Eric is in the afterlive to explain his powers. The crime lord in charge might have been the most interesting part of the movie, but they didn't really flesh him out enough. All in all, even some of the straight to video sequels they made of The Crow were better. Maybe that's the problem - every time they make a new one, the quality diminishes?

So I watched Blink Twice and I think I liked it, but I'm not sure it is something I'd want to watch again any time soon. Not because it isn't a good movie - I think it was very well written, acted etc - but because the subject matter is way darker than anything else I've seen recently. The movie is even prefaced with trigger warnings, which I think was a nice touch, but a bit late, because by that point you've already bought tickets and sat through 30 minutes of ads and trailers. You really need to know going in if you're going to have any difficulties with the subject matter...whilst at the same time not having the whole movie spoilt for you. Cos the whole point of having a twist in a movie, is that it is a surprise when it happens.

I have to say, the new addition to the Alien franchise is pretty good. It isn't doing anything original admittedly - it has the usual face huggers, xenomorphs, milky androids and corporations making foolish decisions. But it does have a whole new cast of snacks for the xenomorphs to chew down on though, rather than defrosting Ripley for the umpteenth time. Overall, it looks pretty, has plenty of jump scares and the plot makes some sense, even if some of the decisions made by the characters is dumb as hell. They are only human after all.

So I saw Deadpool and Wolverine and it was perfection. From the moment the movie starts, Ryan hits the ground running with awesomeness. It is hilariously funny. And there are so many cameos and references, I could spend hours listing them all. Not that if you've never seen or read any Marvel stuff that you'd find it hard to understand, it is very easy to get into. Although I suppose it does have some spoilers for some of the older movies, but I suppose Deadpool 1 did as well. Anyway, it is definitely one of my favourite movies of the year so far.

I watched Twisters. I enjoyed the film - it is exactly how you'd imagine it be to, even without any prior knowledge. Lots of crazy action scenes as they chase tornados, with things getting whirled off into oblivion, or smashed into things. There was also a fair amount of weather science mentioned. Which I am assuming it was pretty accurate cos they had a very sizeable number of meteorologists listed in the credits. I don't remember the last time I watched Twister, so if there is any continuity between the 2, it was completely lost on me. I have a slight desire to watch it now to see how they compare.

I watched Fly Me To The Moon last week and it was glorious. I really liked it a lot cos well, I like space stuff and this is a movie about the Apollo 11 mission. And also the plan to have a fake version as a backup in case the real thing went FUBAR (which obviously didn't happen). And as I said already, it was glorious. It has everything - action, romance, comedy, explosions, fire, rockets and a very adorable looking cat.

It is certainly a movie I would happily go and see again in the not so distance future if there wasn't anything else showing at my local cinema that I fancied watching. Which might be the case as we still have far too many days until Deadpool 3 is showing 😁

I watched Kinds of Kindness tonight, the new film by the guy that did Poor Things. Actually it's 3 short films, with a common set of cast and sets. I'm not sure if there is a common theme, but that might be because I was in no way drunk or stoned enough to fully appreciate it. Basically it was utterly bonkers, far more so than Poor Things was. And I think I enjoyed it, except for the couple of bits of body horror.

One thing to note, there is a mid credit scene. Everyone else in the screening walked out before it happened, even though there was quite a large hint that there was something had yet to happen.

Just saw the latest movie by Canadian national treasure, Ryan Reynolds...the latest kids movie, "IF", not the much anticipated Deadpool sequel. This movie follows a young girl who discovers she can see Imaginary Friends who have been abandoned by their kids due to having grown up. And trying to find them a place in the world so they don't just disappear, which is a thing that can happen apparently. Overall not too bad, kinda funny in places, kinda also giving you lots of feels too. Especially as the movie opens with a flashback montage of life leading up to her mom dying of some sickness (cancer?) before starting with her arriving at her gran's cos her dad in hospital with some kind of heart condition.

Why do kids movies these days like to kick us in the feels? I think there was a kid in the row behind me and they seemed to be having a whale of a time though, so maybe it is only us jaded emotionally damaged adults whose feelings take a kicking watching these movies? That said, it is far more gentle than say Up, or Inside Out was so my feels are only slightly bruised rather than having taken a 2 hour long pounding.

Before watching the latest Planet of the Apes instalment, I prepared myself by watching the previous 3 as I'm pretty certain I'd never seen War and given I got asked me if I wanted to continue playback, I'd only watched some of Dawn. Out of the 3, I still like Rise - I've watched it many times now. I think I prefer War over Dawn, if only because it had a slightly more interesting plot and it feels like a proper sequel.

I also liked Kingdom, although it wasn't at all what I expected. This is mostly down to the synopsis I saw for it, which better described a non-existant movie that occurred between War and Kingdom that talked about the apes leaving their new home and expanding outwards. That had already happened by the time Kingdom starts and a great many different ape settlements have sprung up in the 300 years between the two movies. I liked the idea that our protagonists' clan has formed a strong affinity with eagles, rearing and training them from birth to be their allies in the sky. I wonder if we'll see other clans with other animal bonds in the future films?

The main niggle I have with all the sequels so far, is they're all basically telling the same sort of story. It is all about the pursuit of power in some form or other. Which is very definitely a human trait, but is it an ape one? Are the stories they're writing really just about humanity in ape form? I don't know...hopefully the future films will focus on some other aspect?

First up - Love Lies Bleeding. Similar in vein as Drive Away Dolls, this also features lesbians vs criminals, but it definitely not a comedy. Our hapless couple are Lou, who works at the local gym and Jackie who is a body builder passes through on her way to a competition in Vegas. And the criminal element is Lou's somewhat estranged father. Murder, drugs, gun fights.

Abigail is a comedy about a gang of kidnappers who find the daughter they've kidnapped is not the helpless little girl they think she is. As kinda spoilered by the trailer - she's a vampire. This is definitely a comedy though with lots of gore and galleons of fake blood spraying everywhere. Think along the lines of Lost Boys, but not so 80s camp.

And finally, The Fall Guy. Which was amazing and exactly what I had hoped it would be. It is very loosely based on the ancient TV show starring Lee Majors which was about a stunt guy who would help rescue the victim of the week from whatever trouble they were in. The movie falls into a similar theme, except our protagonist is the one who is in the middle of a fine old mess that he needs to extract himself from, all the while trying to hook back up with his ex. I would not be surprised if it was full of easter eggs that I missed, but I enjoy seeing Lee Majors making a cameo and the theme song from the TV show playing in the credits.

I watched it the other day and despite having no interest in tennis, I actually quite enjoyed it. It's about 2 male tennis stars who were best friends, discovering they both have the hots for the same woman. Personality-wise, they are complete opposites. 1 of them is a "nice guy" and the other is a "bad boy". Since I can't remember their actual names, I'm going to refer to them as Nice or Bad. 13 years has passed since Nice and Bad met Zendaya's character and we find out how that time went through flashbacks and exposition. What passes for the main plot is that Nice and Bad have by pure chance found themselves at the same backwater tennis tournament and have ended up in the finals opposite each other. Bad is there because despite being a pro tennis player, he's not making a living from it and he really needs the prize money. Nice is there because he just got owned by some young up and coming player and needs a confidence boost before he tries one last time to win some big tennis thing. And as the match ebbs and flows between them, so does the stuff we find out about the past. Notably though, Z dated Bad and then ended up marrying and being Nice's coach. And despite how things appear in the promotional stuff, Z is definitely not the main protagonist - she is a McGuffin used to direct the plot back and forth between Nice and Bad.

I'm not sure if I'm over thinking it, but I'm wondering if the actual movie is meant to be a gay romance with tennis as the court it is played on. Z mentions early on that she thinks that real tennis is a lot like being in a relationship. And she also questions if these 2 best friends are or might be something more, even luring them onto the bed so she can trick them into snogging each other. Which they don't seem to be entirely unhappy about when they realise what has happened. Nice's sexuality isn't really discussed beyond that, but Bad is possibly bi as you see him using Tinder to find someone to hook up with so he has a place to crash during the tournament and there was at least one man in amongst the women he checks out. But that could have just been someone who filled in their profile wrongly.

The Civil War movie sees a pair of seasoned war-journalists travel across a war torn US to try and get an interview with the president before he is ousted. I found it quite harrowing, not because of the horrors of war, but because it is so feasible that I could hear about this on the news in the not so distant future. Or maybe even closer to home, although since we're a less gun focused country I'm sure it would go a lot differently.

There are some very nice cinematographic touches. There is a lot of footage that is made via a montage of photos, as if taken by the journalists. The end credits start off with a blank white background that slowly develops into a black and white photo from the final scene.

I saw the Amy Winehouse biopic today and enjoyed it a lot. I don't really remember much about her life whilst it happened as I don't follow the news - especially the kind of trashy tabloids that would have been dredging up every titbit of "news" - so aside from knowing she'd won quite a few awards and then met a tragic early end, seeing how things played out was very interesting. And I found it very moving, especially the way the movie ended. But my tears dried on their own.

So it turns out the headings aren't showing up in Mastodon that I've been adding to my posts, so I need to make sure I post what movies I'm talking about.

I've recently watched Kung Fu Panda 4. It looks great. The soundtrack is good. But it's the 3rd sequel and they're not really doing anything new or different. It is enjoyable, popcorn fluff though, so if you enjoy the franchise you might find it worth watching.

I also saw the new Godzilla/Kong movie. I can't recall if I've seen the others in the franchise, but again this doesn't seem like anything new as sequels go. Monsters fighting each other, cities being laid to waste, human casualties piling up and the powers that be just shruging their shoulders and trying to make the best of it. It is amazing that there are any cities or people left. I did find it amusing that at least half of the dialogue is between the monsters. There are several scenes that consist of just monsters grunting, growling etc... at each other and if it weren't for the body language, it'd be very difficult to have any idea what is actually being discussed.

It is very violent, very very bloody and I enjoyed it a lot. I think they messed up a bit with the first trailer as it doesn't really give a good impression of what the movie is about. The second trailer however gives a much better idea of what sort of film you can expect. Dev Patel is impressively jacked, which makes it more believeable when he starts brutally wading through hordes of bad guys. I wonder if he's going to do more action orientated movies.

I've just potted on my chilli seedlings, including a Carolina Reaper! I really hope that one lives and gives me lots of pain later on this year 😁 #chillies #gardening

So I got to see an advanced preview of this movie and it was wild. I don't know if it is a real thing or not, but the film centres around the premise that there is this company in the US where you can rock up and say you're travelling to some place and if they have a car that needs to be taken to that place, you get to drive it there. In this instance our titular "Dolls" decide they want to go to Tallahassee and just before they arrive at their local Drive Away, someone arranges for a car to go to Tallahassee. They take the car, unaware that it contains a package and then the criminals who were meant to drive the car show up. Chaos and lots of lesbian hijinks ensues.

I recommend it - it was a lot of fun. Very similar in nature to "Bottoms" that I watched last year, but not as violent though.

When I heard my local cinema was going to do a double bill of the two parts of the new Dune, I booked tickets ASAP, because who wouldn't? It was quite a late one as the 2nd part started just after midnight, but definitely worth it.

I don't recall if I wrote a review of part 1, so I'm just going to do the whole thing now. Both parts are stunning - visually and aurally. There done 😁

It isn't completely faithful to the books. I noticed one glaring omission, namely in the book when Paul kills Jamis, he inherits his household, including his wife, whom he takes on as a servant. It doesn't overly affect the plot but I guess it is kind of sexist, viewing the wife almost like property, so I can see why it was left out. There are other differences, but they're very much plot relevant so I won't mention them.

Overall it feels so much more like the book than the previous attempt did tho. It is a lot more coherent for a start and manages to convey the deeper meaning easily without bogging us down with exposition or just throwing it at us in a confusing fashion. I wonder what Frank would have thought of it - he was apparently pleased with the 1984 version.

I also wonder if Villeneuve will carry on and film the other books?

Sony's latest offering in the Spiderverse is a character I'm heard of, but knew absolutely nothing about prior to watching it. Not that I know much more than what the movie tells us - she's a spider bite victim with precog abilities, but none of the fun wall crawling, super strength or web powers. A super Mystic Meg if you will. And it is that ability that is the core function of the movie - she sees or experiences something bad and then relives it with the knowledge to avoid or stop it.

I also have no idea how the movie fits in the grand scheme of things. It is set before Spiderman exists and no other mention of superheroes is mentioned, so whilst it is a colab with Marvel, I can't tell how adjacent to the MCU it is. Maybe Sony are planning on yet another Spiderman reboot? Or maybe since they've introduced us to some new characters, they'll spin a whole new Spiderfranchise around them?

Anyway, it is a very enjoyable movie. But I can imagine the cheetos munching basement dwellers are getting their tighty whiteys in a knot over yet another female led superhero movie diluting the vastly male dominated genre.

"Anything But You" has joined an ever increasing number of movies that have a specific set of traits that I appear to enjoy. They're all romcoms and modern adaptations of Shakespear plays. I didn't know the latter about ABY before I went and saw it - the trailer looked like any other romcom. But it became very apparent as the movie progressed because they kept having quotes from the Bard popping up on the scenery and props - like on a wall or the spine of a book - very much like chapter headings. Plus there are some scenes that look like they could have been lifted from a play where 2 characters talk loudly and pointedly knowing full well they're being overheard by one of the protagonists. Not that it means much to me, but it's based on Much Ado About Nothing - despite the aforementioned love of the niche genre, I don't know much about the original plays. But Shakespear knew his stuff and the modern remakes keep enough of the good stuff to make them very enjoyable.

I really really enjoyed Argylle. I don't tend to try and over think movies to work out their twists, so naturally was surprised by the various twists in this one. And there were an awful lot of twists. And lots of cool action shots too. Henry looked a little odd with his weird Guile-like square shaped buzz cut thing going on with his hair, but he's clearly having fun being an action spy book character doing outlandish things. Also Bryce was awesome 😍

This is definitely on my list of movies to grab when it comes out on shiny disc.

The only thing I wasn't impressed by was the cat. The poor thing spends most of the film stuck in a backpack looking out through a glass dome, which gave the impression it was all done with CGI - like when you see a character pasted badly onto a window as the camera pans backwards. And there was the really out of place "designed for 3d" shot of the cat being catapulted upwards when the protagonists land on the crash mat next to it. The cat does get let out of the bag (chortle) and it looks like a real one, maybe there really was an actual cat involved.

I watched Poor Things the other week. Based on the trailer I had expected a zany reimagining of the Frankenstein with a bit of role reversal and a lot of feminism. I should have probably paid a small amount of attention to the censors' warnings as I did not expect the vast amounts of nudity and sex. Which I didn't have a problem with, but I'd invited a friend along based on my analysis of the trailer and suddenly seeing a naked Stone riding cowgirl without warning was definitely a surprise.

Other than that, I think I wasn't too far wrong about the film. I'd say that the creation (Stone) was definitely not the monster - instead it was the male characters that tried to use and control her for their own ends that fit that bill. From the hideously disfigured scientist who brings her back to life, to the many men who only see her as a beautiful woman to take advantage of because she has the knowledge and wonder of a child. Stone plays the part perfectly, as her child like wonder leads her to explore all the world has to offer - food, travel, drink, dancing and of course sex.

I am also curious about the setting. It's clearly in some alternative version of the Victorian era, but not quite steampunk. The vehicles look sleak and modern, but belch forth thick clouds of greenish smoke, so I wonder if they've found something other than coal to power things with. Plus the medical tech is completely fantastical as even in this modern day, we can't bring back the dead to life.

Anyway, we both enjoyed it and I can certainly see plenty of awards heading its way.

PS yes, I am very far behind on writing about my cinematic adventures...very very far behind 😮

I have just planted some seeds. Many appendages crossed they turn into plants 😁

Last week I went and saw the latest Studio Ghibli movie, The Boy and the Heron which was exactly what you'd expect from them - a beautiful anime with a very trippy and confusing plot. A boy loses his mother in a fire during WWII and a few years later moves to the countryside with his dad to live with his aunt who is now his step-mother and carrying a future sibling. A magical heron/spirit/man tells him that his mother is still alive and off he goes on an weird adventure full of magic and wonder to rescue his her.

Today I saw Next Goal Wins, which was very funny and reminded me a lot of the first movie I ever saw in the cinema as an independent person - Cool Running. This movie is based on the true story of the American Samoa internal football team. A team who probably still retain the biggest loss in football history - 31 to nil - in a Worldcup qualify many years ago.